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Thread: What was it about your now wife that made you want to marry her?

  1. #51
    asshat zepol87 Shaggy Gold Club zepol87 Shaggy Gold Club zepol87 Shaggy Gold Club zepol87 Shaggy Gold Club zepol87 Shaggy Gold Club zepol87 Shaggy Gold Club zepol87 Shaggy Gold Club zepol87 Shaggy Gold Club zepol87 Shaggy Gold Club zepol87 Shaggy Gold Club zepol87 Shaggy Gold Club zepol87's Avatar
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    Don't they all get boring though?

  • #52
    asshat erikestradaschesthair has a gigantic e-peen. erikestradaschesthair has a gigantic e-peen. erikestradaschesthair has a gigantic e-peen. erikestradaschesthair has a gigantic e-peen. erikestradaschesthair has a gigantic e-peen. erikestradaschesthair has a gigantic e-peen. erikestradaschesthair has a gigantic e-peen. erikestradaschesthair has a gigantic e-peen. erikestradaschesthair has a gigantic e-peen. erikestradaschesthair has a gigantic e-peen. erikestradaschesthair has a gigantic e-peen. erikestradaschesthair's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skipperj View Post
    Not so fast my friend.
    forgot to add, she is a habitual liar.

  • #53
    That smarmy librarian look

  • #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by mdmost View Post
    Surly, I really enjoyed your memo.
    He really could have gotten you better deals on 600 tablets of acetylsalicylic acid, generic.

  • #55
    asshat MikeGundy'sRant Shaggy Gold Club MikeGundy'sRant Shaggy Gold Club MikeGundy'sRant Shaggy Gold Club MikeGundy'sRant Shaggy Gold Club MikeGundy'sRant Shaggy Gold Club MikeGundy'sRant Shaggy Gold Club MikeGundy'sRant Shaggy Gold Club MikeGundy'sRant Shaggy Gold Club MikeGundy'sRant Shaggy Gold Club MikeGundy'sRant Shaggy Gold Club MikeGundy'sRant Shaggy Gold Club MikeGundy'sRant's Avatar
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    Divorced.

    I liked her pussy. She was up for 69, being on top, and doggy. When we were in college, we $#@!ed constantly.

    Not married anymore. She used to be thicc. Kids suggested that she's just fat now.

  • #56
    asshat MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10's Avatar
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    She's not psycho, she's cool, educated .And likes football. Plus she was a hell of a figure skater and currently coaches so....Yea 😆

  • #57
    Quote Originally Posted by MNLonghorn10 View Post
    She's not psycho...figure skater and currently coaches
    Does not compute.

  • #58
    asshat bmbmd might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? bmbmd might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? bmbmd might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? bmbmd might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? bmbmd might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? bmbmd might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? bmbmd might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? bmbmd might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? bmbmd might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? bmbmd might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? bmbmd might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? bmbmd's Avatar
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    Still not sure why she went out with me in the first place.

  • #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeGundy'sRant View Post
    Divorced.

    I liked her pussy. She was up for 69, being on top, and doggy. When we were in college, we $#@!ed constantly.

    Not married anymore. She used to be thicc. Kids suggested that she's just fat now.
    This is like the best shortest bio movie in the history of literature/cinema.

  • #60
    asshat MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skipperj View Post
    Does not compute.
    Figure skating occurs on ice. Ice is frozen water that usually only exists in the northern hemisphere. You must be psycho to live up here



    Yea you're right

  • #61
    I don't really remember an "aha" moment. We were kids when we started dating our freshmen year in college. Dated all throughout our time at Texas, then got engaged. Really for us it was as simple as, we really just got along great. And almost fifteen years later, we still do.

  • #62
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    I could wax poetic on a large number of various things but the bottom line is she made me want to be a better person for her. She broke up with me 3 times but I finally got it right and 16 years after getting married I still get bj's and occasional butseks.

  • #63
    bunghole Range Life is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Range Life is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Range Life is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Range Life is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Range Life is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Range Life is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Range Life is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Range Life is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Range Life is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Range Life is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Range Life is probably pretty witty. or good at photoshop. or porn. Range Life's Avatar
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    She lets me watch football/sports all day without judgment.

  • #64
    asshat Stros might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Stros might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Stros might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Stros might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Stros might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Stros might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Stros might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Stros might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Stros might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Stros might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Stros might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Stros's Avatar
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    She went to UT, has a good job, she's hot, and can suck a mean $#@!.



  • #65
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    Pics, you rule-breaking bastards.

  • #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by zepol87 View Post
    Don't they all get boring though?
    No.

    Mine loves football now, has learned to cook, and still hasn't decided to try bigger peni.

  • #67
    She gave me a BJ in the parking lot of a club I was working.

    She would offer her ass when she was on her period.

    She had a great set of tits.

    It seemed like every spare moment we had was spent $#@!ing like a couple of drunk monkeys.

    She asked me to marry her, actually.

    But I knew I had made the right choice right after we got married, and were hanging out in San Antonio. Went to the mall and watched the Imax movie about The Alamo (the one where Jim Bowie looks like Stevie Ray Vaughn). Credits roll, one of the producer's names was Smoot. She turned to me and said "I smoot in your general direction". Yeah, it was dumb. And we laughed our asses off. Been married 21 years.

  • #68
    asshat Ernest_t_bass has a gigantic e-peen. Ernest_t_bass has a gigantic e-peen. Ernest_t_bass has a gigantic e-peen. Ernest_t_bass has a gigantic e-peen. Ernest_t_bass has a gigantic e-peen. Ernest_t_bass has a gigantic e-peen. Ernest_t_bass has a gigantic e-peen. Ernest_t_bass has a gigantic e-peen. Ernest_t_bass has a gigantic e-peen. Ernest_t_bass has a gigantic e-peen. Ernest_t_bass has a gigantic e-peen. Ernest_t_bass's Avatar
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    Wasn't her ability to do laundry

  • #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by equinox View Post
    She gave me a BJ in the parking lot of a club I was working.

    She would offer her ass when she was on her period.
    NOTICE THIS IS PAST TENSE

    She had a great set of tits.
    THIS AS WELL

    It seemed like every spare moment we had was spent $#@!ing like a couple of drunk monkeys.
    YEP IT'S OVER

    She asked me to marry her, actually.

    But I knew I had made the right choice right after we got married, and were hanging out in San Antonio. Went to the mall and watched the Imax movie about The Alamo (the one where Jim Bowie looks like Stevie Ray Vaughn). Credits roll, one of the producer's names was Smoot. She turned to me and said "I smoot in your general direction". Yeah, it was dumb. And we laughed our asses off. Been married 21 years.
    Observations

  • #70
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    I was infatuated with her tits in high school is what started it. They were the best in the school in my opinion. We dated for a couple of years and got married in college. Almost 18 years later and it's still been a good decision.

  • #71
    asshat stunns38 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? stunns38 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? stunns38 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? stunns38 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? stunns38 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? stunns38 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? stunns38 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? stunns38 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? stunns38 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? stunns38 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? stunns38 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? stunns38's Avatar
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    All this anal and BJ talk makes me think I married the wrong woman.



  • #72
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    She has good (even if somewhat traditional) values. Getting a PhD in science. Amazingly, we've gotten better, rather than worse, over time. But most importantly, she let me put my P in her V. And that's why I'll marry her soon.

  • #73
    asshat Bullneck Shaggy Gold Club Bullneck Shaggy Gold Club Bullneck Shaggy Gold Club Bullneck Shaggy Gold Club Bullneck Shaggy Gold Club Bullneck Shaggy Gold Club Bullneck Shaggy Gold Club Bullneck Shaggy Gold Club Bullneck Shaggy Gold Club Bullneck Shaggy Gold Club Bullneck Shaggy Gold Club Bullneck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by equinox View Post
    Went to the mall and watched the Imax movie about The Alamo (the one where Jim Bowie looks like Stevie Ray Vaughn).


    So, is this a picture of Jim Bowie?

  • #74
    Bottom line is we really get along great in the day to day - best friends - and both share all the same wants and values about where we'll live, what we'll prioritize in life, how we want to raise kids, etc.

    She's damn smart (Stanford MD), which is critical for me. Generous, good natured, optimistic, cheerful. Enjoy all the same lifestyle habits - would rather go camp and do an early morning hike than go drink at bars, etc.

    Easy to sit in complete silence at times and still enjoy each other's presence.

    Is also a vulgar, rabid college football fan, a great cook, great in bed, bisexual and likes to $#@! other women.

    This was not a tough decision.

  • #75

  • #76
    Quote Originally Posted by texanbychoice View Post
    My dog is loyal.
    Yeah, but your dog can't go psycho, $#@! the neighbor then take half your $#@! in a divorce. So, loyalty isn't overrated in a woman.

  • #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Incredulity View Post
    Yeah, but your dog can't go psycho, $#@! the neighbor then take half your $#@! in a divorce. So, loyalty isn't overrated in a woman.
    Dog can go psycho
    Dog can $#@! the neighbor
    Dog can $#@! on half my $#@!

  • #78
    The first time I set eyes on her, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.

  • #79
    Her dowry was adequate.

    -Armybrat



  • #80
    You had me at Stanford MD. Then you went and added bisexual. $#@! you sir. $#@! you and your perfect life.



  • #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pistol Pete's Mustache View Post
    Her dowry was adequate.

    It was as if she was made for me...and then she gave me an apple.

    -Armybrat


    Fixed it

  • #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bob Lives! View Post
    You had me at Stanford MD. Then you went and added bisexual. $#@! you sir. $#@! you and your perfect life.


    Sounds like the question is why did she choo choo choose him

  • #83
    asshat SBBruin Definitely Shaggy upper class SBBruin Definitely Shaggy upper class SBBruin Definitely Shaggy upper class SBBruin Definitely Shaggy upper class SBBruin Definitely Shaggy upper class SBBruin Definitely Shaggy upper class SBBruin Definitely Shaggy upper class SBBruin Definitely Shaggy upper class SBBruin Definitely Shaggy upper class SBBruin Definitely Shaggy upper class SBBruin Definitely Shaggy upper class SBBruin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goredho View Post
    $#@! if I can remember


    Ha. Same. I met her in '89, dated for 7 yrs, then just figured might as well. The specifics are hazy.

  • #84
    She understood the need for a man to be independent.

  • #85
    asshat RPM probably preboards planes RPM probably preboards planes RPM probably preboards planes RPM probably preboards planes RPM probably preboards planes RPM probably preboards planes RPM probably preboards planes RPM probably preboards planes RPM probably preboards planes RPM probably preboards planes RPM probably preboards planes RPM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ltbear View Post
    bisexual and likes to $#@! other women.
    Well that's the trifecta right there.

  • #86
    I think he married a dude.

  • #87
    Quote Originally Posted by Duck of Death View Post
    Sounds like the question is why did she choo choo choose him
    The lord works in mysterious ways.

    (I have no clue)

  • #88
    asshat hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stros View Post
    She went to UT, has a good job, she's hot, and can suck a mean $#@!.


    But can she suck a nice $#@!? Cuz my fiancée says I've got a nice $#@!.

  • #89
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    So she's saying that, before you, she was sucking a lower class of $#@!?

  • #90
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    She let me $#@! all her holes

  • #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pistol Pete's Mustache View Post
    Her dowry was adequate.

    -Armybrat


    Met her when she was maid of honor and I was best man at our mutual friends' wedding in Taylor - December 30th, 1966. Took her out afterwards to Shakey's Pizza Parlor on The Drag.
    Proposed to her two weeks later, then we got married that next June. All our friends said it wouldn't work out, as she was very prim & proper and I was Bluto. Now they are all divorced and we will celebrate our 50th in 5 months & 2 weeks.

    Sometimes you just know, and I love her more than ever.
    Last edited by Armybrat; 12-27-2016 at 01:43 PM.

  • #92
    asshat Francisco Scaramonga might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Francisco Scaramonga might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Francisco Scaramonga might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Francisco Scaramonga might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Francisco Scaramonga might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Francisco Scaramonga might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Francisco Scaramonga might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Francisco Scaramonga might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Francisco Scaramonga might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Francisco Scaramonga might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Francisco Scaramonga might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Francisco Scaramonga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Armybrat View Post
    Met her when she was maid of honor and I was best man at our mutual friends' wedding in Taylor - December 30th, 1966. Took her out afterwards to Shakey's Pizza Parlor on The Drag.
    Proposed to her two weeks later, then we got married that next June. All our friends said it wouldn't work out, as she was very prim & proper and I was Bluto. Now they are all divorced and we will celebrate our 50th in 5 months & 2 weeks.

    Sometimes you just know, and I love her more than ever.
    Isn't that the truth.

  • #93
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    Brat we all need invites to your 50th anniversary party. What could possible go wrong?


  • #94
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    Shag crashing the 50th would be awesome

  • #95
    asshat Native Horn Shaggy Bronze Club Native Horn Shaggy Bronze Club Native Horn Shaggy Bronze Club Native Horn Shaggy Bronze Club Native Horn Shaggy Bronze Club Native Horn Shaggy Bronze Club Native Horn Shaggy Bronze Club Native Horn Shaggy Bronze Club Native Horn Shaggy Bronze Club Native Horn Shaggy Bronze Club Native Horn Shaggy Bronze Club Native Horn's Avatar
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    I'll volunteer to be the prim and proper one.



    F dat.

  • #96
    Quote Originally Posted by Surly Bevo View Post
    Observations
    All true I'm afraid.

  • #97
    asshat Walden Ponderer Shaggy Platinum Walden Ponderer Shaggy Platinum Walden Ponderer Shaggy Platinum Walden Ponderer Shaggy Platinum Walden Ponderer Shaggy Platinum Walden Ponderer Shaggy Platinum Walden Ponderer Shaggy Platinum Walden Ponderer Shaggy Platinum Walden Ponderer Shaggy Platinum Walden Ponderer Shaggy Platinum Walden Ponderer Shaggy Platinum Walden Ponderer's Avatar
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    That man is richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.
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    I first noticed her because she was a dead ringer for Elizabeth Shue; I wanted to marry her, though, because we could talk about literally anything and I didn't want to throw things at her for being obtuse.

    On the other hand, we've since made frequent jokes about the fact that we got married because we both liked Michele Montagne's "Essays" but that has absolutely zero to do with married life: we should have given each other questionnaires asking things like "Exactly how little sleep can you get by on?" and "If you've got three minutes before guests arrive, and each of us has to choose one of the kid's messes, are you taking the poop, or the vomit?"

  • #98
    Met mine when we were both in the same Army unit. She kept up with the men and never complained about any of the $#@! jobs we did. She was a helo fueler and had her own fuel HEMTT that she maintained. She was always working on that thing to make sure it was fully operational. Those of you in the Army know that most women only do the bare minimum and skate by but she was different.

    She also LOVES sports. Not the pretend like that most women endure until they get their man. She loves and understands football, hockey, basketball and baseball. In that order. She was born and raised a Roll Tide girl but I’ll forgive her for that.

    She only drank beer and tequila. No wine or fruity drinks. Still does.

    She had bad ass legs. Still does.

    I have to say that she understands what a man needs and wants. Just a few weeks ago, she asked if I would be interested in deer hunting. I told her I would so a week later she bought me a deer rifle for Christmas. She has more time than me to look stuff up so she will probably have a lease by the end of January. That’ll give me time to be ready for next hunting season.

    For those of you interested, she does have a single sister but she is nothing like my wife. Sorry.

  • #99
    Quote Originally Posted by T-shirt Sip View Post
    For those of you interested, she does have a single sister but she is nothing like my wife. Sorry.
    Sister the owner of those tittays?

  • #100
    asshat 5280 Shaggy Gold Club 5280 Shaggy Gold Club 5280 Shaggy Gold Club 5280 Shaggy Gold Club 5280 Shaggy Gold Club 5280 Shaggy Gold Club 5280 Shaggy Gold Club 5280 Shaggy Gold Club 5280 Shaggy Gold Club 5280 Shaggy Gold Club 5280 Shaggy Gold Club
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    Quote Originally Posted by T-shirt Sip View Post
    Met mine when we were both in the same Army unit. She kept up with the men and never complained about any of the $#@! jobs we did. She was a helo fueler and had her own fuel HEMTT that she maintained. She was always working on that thing to make sure it was fully operational. Those of you in the Army know that most women only do the bare minimum and skate by but she was different.

    She also LOVES sports. Not the pretend like that most women endure until they get their man. She loves and understands football, hockey, basketball and baseball. In that order. She was born and raised a Roll Tide girl but I’ll forgive her for that.

    She only drank beer and tequila. No wine or fruity drinks. Still does.

    She had bad ass legs. Still does.

    I have to say that she understands what a man needs and wants. Just a few weeks ago, she asked if I would be interested in deer hunting. I told her I would so a week later she bought me a deer rifle for Christmas. She has more time than me to look stuff up so she will probably have a lease by the end of January. That’ll give me time to be ready for next hunting season.

    For those of you interested, she does have a single sister but she is nothing like my wife. Sorry.
    I think you married a dude.

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