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Thread: 2017 shart thread

  1. #51


    I don't get the purpose of this thread... but I like it!

  • #52
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    It finally happened, and I blame the chili cheese tacos I ate at midnight last night. Woke up around 3 am to a grumbling gut and some pressure on my back door. Too comfortable to get up so I take a gamble...... and lose. Luckily I clenched up and waddled to the shower before anything could hit the sheets.

  • #53
    PM Underdog for technique on getting particles down the drain.

  • #54
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    Underdog doesn't own a patent on Waffle-Stomping™

  • #55
    asshat jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge?
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    i have the stomach flu right now... yesterday i had to drive 160 miles to see a few work sites, and i had to stop several times because i never knew if it was fart, shart, or diarrhea. can't think of a $#@!tier $#@!uation.

  • #56
    That stinks.

  • #57
    Quote Originally Posted by jofus View Post
    can't think of a $#@!tier $#@!uation.

    Breaks went out on the vehicle and you couldn't stop so you had to just let em rip in the seat.

  • #58
    asshat jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? jofus might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge?
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    I'm in the middle of the poobonic plague. This is the worst bug I've ever gotten.

  • #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by jofus View Post
    i have the stomach flu right now... yesterday i had to drive 160 miles to see a few work sites, and i had to stop several times because i never knew if it was fart, shart, or diarrhea. can't think of a $#@!tier $#@!uation.
    $#@!tier situation - you don't stop and take your chances.

  • #60
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    I'm out, got too confident with a fart

  • #61
    The zoo is a perfect place to rip a dirty fart. All the smells will just blend together my brain said. I was humbled by a shart in the children's petting zoo. No Sandusky

  • #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illiterate View Post
    The zoo is a perfect place to rip a dirty fart. All the smells will just blend together my brain said. I was humbled by a shart in the children's petting zoo. No Sandusky
    I weep for their future.

  • #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illiterate View Post
    The zoo is a perfect place to rip a dirty fart. All the smells will just blend together my brain said. I was humbled by a shart in the children's petting zoo. No Sandusky
    Great example of "things that I will only read about" on the shag.

  • #64
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    I only made it to the 11th around noon. Partied too hard on Tuesday for my birthday. A combination of teriyaki ginger stir fry, a double order of JITB tacos, and huevos rancheros for breakfast, all washed down with various brands of beer.

  • #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by jofus View Post
    i have the stomach flu right now... yesterday i had to drive 160 miles to see a few work sites, and i had to stop several times because i never knew if it was fart, shart, or diarrhea. can't think of a $#@!tier $#@!uation.
    You're not really suffering until you have to buy newspaper to sit on while you drive. I mean, um, a friend told me that.

  • #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illiterate View Post
    The zoo is a perfect place to rip a dirty fart. All the smells will just blend together my brain said. I was humbled by a shart in the children's petting zoo. No Sandusky
    did the zoo animals eat it?

  • #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by orangeuahorn2 View Post
    I only made it to the 11th around noon. Partied too hard on Tuesday for my birthday. A combination of teriyaki ginger stir fry, a double order of JITB tacos, and huevos rancheros for breakfast, all washed down with various brands of beer.
    I think it's safe to say the JITB tacos thread and this one will have a lot of overlap this year.

  • #68
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    Well, I just $#@! my pants. It's my first incident of 2017. Thought I was going to rip a satisfying fart, and I got more than I bargained for. Had a turkey wrap and a cup of tortilla soup from Jason's Deli for lunch, so I suspect that was the cause. Luckily, I am the only one at the office today, so I was able to address the situation in peace. Put a piece of paper towel in my boxers, so I am not feeling the wet spot now. Let's hope it holds.
    Last edited by cabowabo; 01-16-2017 at 01:44 PM.

  • #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by cabowabo View Post
    Well, I just $#@! my pants.
    $#@!, man. I love the Shag.

  • #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by cabowabo View Post
    Well, I just $#@! my pants. It's my first incident of 2017. Thought I was going to rip a satisfying fart, and I got more than I bargained for. Had a turkey wrap and a cup of tortilla soup from Jason's Deli for lunch, so I suspect that was the cause. Luckily, I am the only one at the office today, so I was able to address the situation in peace. Put a piece of paper towel in my boxers, so I am not feeling the wet spot now. Let's hope it holds.

  • #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by cabowabo View Post
    Well, I just $#@! my pants. It's my first incident of 2017. Thought I was going to rip a satisfying fart, and I got more than I bargained for. Had a turkey wrap and a cup of tortilla soup from Jason's Deli for lunch, so I suspect that was the cause. Luckily, I am the only one at the office today, so I was able to address the situation in peace. Put a piece of paper towel in my boxers, so I am not feeling the wet spot now. Let's hope it holds.
    Wrong thread, man. This is the SHART thread.

  • #72
    asshat Bat Guan0 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Bat Guan0 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Bat Guan0 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Bat Guan0 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Bat Guan0 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Bat Guan0 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Bat Guan0 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Bat Guan0 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Bat Guan0 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Bat Guan0 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Bat Guan0 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Bat Guan0's Avatar
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    I'm getting a little ambivalent about this thread. All this 'never trust a fart' stuff is making me overly cautious. Yesterday I was trying to decide whether a fart or a $#@! was coming; deciding to err on the side of caution, I took a seat on the porcelain throne, and let loose ... what turned out to be a harmless fart. Imagine my disappointment.

    Men, don't let this happen to you; don't become weak and fearful of every fart. Let those farts out fearlessly; do not be intimidated. Go boldly forth into the unknown. If the cost is that occasionally one turns out to be somewhat moist, or even wet, then what of it? That's what this thread is for. And, more importantly, an occasional shart is the price of freedom!
    Last edited by Bat Guan0; 01-17-2017 at 12:01 PM.

  • #73
    ^^^^

    Here I sit all broken hearted.
    Came to $#@!
    but only farted.

    Then one day
    I took a chance
    Went to fart
    but $#@! my pants.

  • #74
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  • #75
    Quote Originally Posted by Dawn Keibals View Post
    did the zoo animals eat it?
    No it was a level 1 or whatever. No big thing, butt not something I want to experience again.

  • #76
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    A friend asked me if a really greezy fart causes you to run to the bathroom and wipe is that technically a shart?


  • #77
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    yes.

  • #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dawn Keibals View Post
    This is why we can't have nice things.

  • #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by capt View Post
    A friend asked me if a really greezy fart causes you to run to the bathroom and wipe is that technically a shart?

    I say not unless it hits the drawers. We need another term for a wet fart that does no damage.

  • #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bat Guan0 View Post
    I'm getting a little ambivalent about this thread. All this 'never trust a fart' stuff is making me overly cautious. Yesterday I was trying to decide whether a fart or a $#@! was coming; deciding to err on the side of caution, I took a seat on the porcelain throne, and let loose ... what turned out to be a harmless fart. Imagine my disappointment.

    Men, don't let this happen to you; don't become weak and fearful of every fart. Let those farts out fearlessly; do not be intimidated. Go boldly forth into the unknown. If the cost is that occasionally one turns out to be somewhat moist, or even wet, then what of it? That's what this thread is for. And, more importantly, an occasional shart is the price of freedom!
    You are in the illumisharti aren't you? NOTHING TO SEE HERE!

  • #81
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    I find it quite interesting that the 2017 beer thread and this thread seem to get updated at the same times. Coincidence?

  • #82
    25 days. Thankfully at home and wearing black underwear. Actually don't think anything made it there.

    Walked in the kitchen to get some Girl Scout cookies and felt a fart. Pushed, nothing. Pushed harder, unknown amount of shart escaped. Now I'm sitting here looking for the 2017 squirts thread. Definitely surprise #3

  • #83
    Monday the 23rd, scouting for ducks and having a couple beers after a long weekend. Stopped to glass and take a piss, let a little one out, mud in my cheeks. Always have wipes around so no big deal.

  • #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by NeverMarryAStripper View Post
    I say not unless it hits the drawers. We need another term for a wet fart that does no damage.
    Great idea. I propose we use the term "dillo". Who's with me?

  • #85
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    what do we call it when it runs down your legs and hits your shoes? (asking for a friend)

  • #86
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    Shoe-art

  • #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dawn Keibals View Post
    what do we call it when it runs down your legs and hits your shoes? (asking for a friend)
    I believe they call that aggy tradition.

  • #88
    Baddet?

  • #89
    Quote Originally Posted by Dawn Keibals View Post
    what do we call it when it runs down your legs and hits your shoes? (asking for a friend)
    Thursday

  • #90
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  • #91
    Quote Originally Posted by Dawn Keibals View Post
    what do we call it when it runs down your legs and hits your shoes? (asking for a friend)

  • #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pistol Pete's Mustache View Post
    Why would you put rice in queso? And who needs such a large batch?

  • #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vertigo View Post
    Why would you put rice in queso? And who needs such a large batch?
    That's chili my friend

  • #94
    Quote Originally Posted by MNLonghorn10 View Post
    That's chili my friend
    Not just any chili. Jade's Chili.

  • #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illiterate View Post
    No it was a level 1 or whatever. No big thing, butt not something I want to experience again.
    As a dear deceased friend of mine once said "It wasn't a lot of $#@!, but it was more than I wanted to carry around in my drawers".

  • #96
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    Hungover at work (drank too much IPA last night), and figured I'd bump this one to the top of the page since I have a feeling two or three people are going to join the page today. Good luck gents, and don't trust a fart until at least 3 pm or so.

  • #97
    asshat Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament's Avatar
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    The day after the Superbowl HAS to be the "Black Monday" of sharting.

  • #98
    asshat retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread's Avatar
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    Locked and loaded


  • #99
    That'll just make your sharts black.

  • #100
    asshat Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Parliament View Post
    The day after the Superbowl HAS to be the "Brown Monday" of sharting.
    Fify

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