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Thread: 2017 shart thread

  1. #1
    asshat Gil Bang Shaggy Platinum Gil Bang Shaggy Platinum Gil Bang Shaggy Platinum Gil Bang Shaggy Platinum Gil Bang Shaggy Platinum Gil Bang Shaggy Platinum Gil Bang Shaggy Platinum Gil Bang Shaggy Platinum Gil Bang Shaggy Platinum Gil Bang Shaggy Platinum Gil Bang Shaggy Platinum Gil Bang's Avatar
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    2017 shart thread

    Happy new year!

  • #2
    bunghole Rams can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Rams can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Rams can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Rams can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Rams can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Rams can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Rams can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Rams can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Rams can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Rams can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Rams can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. Rams's Avatar
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    So far so good!

  • #3
    asshat Vertigo Probably Shaggy upper class Vertigo Probably Shaggy upper class Vertigo Probably Shaggy upper class Vertigo Probably Shaggy upper class Vertigo Probably Shaggy upper class Vertigo Probably Shaggy upper class Vertigo Probably Shaggy upper class Vertigo Probably Shaggy upper class Vertigo Probably Shaggy upper class Vertigo Probably Shaggy upper class Vertigo Probably Shaggy upper class Vertigo's Avatar
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    I look forward to several entries tomorrow.

  • #4
    asshat JohnnyChimpo Shaggy Bronze Club JohnnyChimpo Shaggy Bronze Club JohnnyChimpo Shaggy Bronze Club JohnnyChimpo Shaggy Bronze Club JohnnyChimpo Shaggy Bronze Club JohnnyChimpo Shaggy Bronze Club JohnnyChimpo Shaggy Bronze Club JohnnyChimpo Shaggy Bronze Club JohnnyChimpo Shaggy Bronze Club JohnnyChimpo Shaggy Bronze Club JohnnyChimpo Shaggy Bronze Club JohnnyChimpo's Avatar
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    Ahhh a new year, ripe with opportunities to $#@! my pants!

  • #5
    purveyor of taste huge Shaggy Gold Club huge Shaggy Gold Club huge Shaggy Gold Club huge Shaggy Gold Club huge Shaggy Gold Club huge Shaggy Gold Club huge Shaggy Gold Club huge Shaggy Gold Club huge Shaggy Gold Club huge Shaggy Gold Club huge Shaggy Gold Club huge's Avatar
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    Somehow clean so far

  • #6
    asshat Dawn Keibals Shaggy Gold Club Dawn Keibals Shaggy Gold Club Dawn Keibals Shaggy Gold Club Dawn Keibals Shaggy Gold Club Dawn Keibals Shaggy Gold Club Dawn Keibals Shaggy Gold Club Dawn Keibals Shaggy Gold Club Dawn Keibals Shaggy Gold Club Dawn Keibals Shaggy Gold Club Dawn Keibals Shaggy Gold Club Dawn Keibals Shaggy Gold Club Dawn Keibals's Avatar
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    clean thru '16!

  • #7
    asshat Buzzrock Shaggy Gold Club Buzzrock Shaggy Gold Club Buzzrock Shaggy Gold Club Buzzrock Shaggy Gold Club Buzzrock Shaggy Gold Club Buzzrock Shaggy Gold Club Buzzrock Shaggy Gold Club Buzzrock Shaggy Gold Club Buzzrock Shaggy Gold Club Buzzrock Shaggy Gold Club Buzzrock Shaggy Gold Club Buzzrock's Avatar
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    I've had a wicked head cold for two weeks, the kind that makes me really wind up and sneeze harder than normal. I had a powerful sneeze a little while ago that was accompanied by a power fart so hot and loud it almost blew my boxers off. A quick check though and I'm still clean.

  • #8
    asshat Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom's Avatar
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    I predict that Mulletpellini will be the first check into this thread in earnest.

  • #9
    I had a massive case of the runs around 1 am, I was afraid to go to sleep for fear that I'd blow out my drawers. Luckily, it seems to have passed.

  • #10
    asshat Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain's Avatar
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    I've been a tootin' but no poopoo'n, yet.

  • #11
    meh.

  • #12
    Read the Burpee thread. Tried to do Burpee. Don't do that.

  • #13
    asshat Bill Brasky Shaggy Gold Club Bill Brasky Shaggy Gold Club Bill Brasky Shaggy Gold Club Bill Brasky Shaggy Gold Club Bill Brasky Shaggy Gold Club Bill Brasky Shaggy Gold Club Bill Brasky Shaggy Gold Club Bill Brasky Shaggy Gold Club Bill Brasky Shaggy Gold Club Bill Brasky Shaggy Gold Club Bill Brasky Shaggy Gold Club
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    I'm loading up on chili and beer, tomorrow may be the big day

  • #14
    Shaggy Goon MissingInAction Definitely Shaggy upper class MissingInAction Definitely Shaggy upper class MissingInAction Definitely Shaggy upper class MissingInAction Definitely Shaggy upper class MissingInAction Definitely Shaggy upper class MissingInAction Definitely Shaggy upper class MissingInAction Definitely Shaggy upper class MissingInAction Definitely Shaggy upper class MissingInAction Definitely Shaggy upper class MissingInAction Definitely Shaggy upper class MissingInAction Definitely Shaggy upper class MissingInAction's Avatar
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    JUst ate an entire medium sausage and olive pizza from pizza hut. I'm putting plastic on the bed tonight.

  • #15
    asshat Bath Salt Dealer has a gigantic e-peen. Bath Salt Dealer has a gigantic e-peen. Bath Salt Dealer has a gigantic e-peen. Bath Salt Dealer has a gigantic e-peen. Bath Salt Dealer has a gigantic e-peen. Bath Salt Dealer has a gigantic e-peen. Bath Salt Dealer has a gigantic e-peen. Bath Salt Dealer has a gigantic e-peen. Bath Salt Dealer has a gigantic e-peen. Bath Salt Dealer has a gigantic e-peen. Bath Salt Dealer has a gigantic e-peen.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandman View Post
    I had a massive case of the runs around 1 am, I was afraid to go to sleep for fear that I'd blow out my drawers. Luckily, it seems to have passed.
    This is the prelude for many shart thread entries the last couple of years. Overconfidence is a killer. Never let your guard down.

  • #16
    asshat orangeuahorn2 grows his own roses orangeuahorn2 grows his own roses orangeuahorn2 grows his own roses orangeuahorn2 grows his own roses orangeuahorn2 grows his own roses orangeuahorn2 grows his own roses orangeuahorn2 grows his own roses orangeuahorn2 grows his own roses orangeuahorn2 grows his own roses orangeuahorn2 grows his own roses orangeuahorn2 grows his own roses orangeuahorn2's Avatar
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    I've gambled and won several times today. But the longer it goes on, the less confidence I have in not experiencing a supervova in my skivvies...

  • #17
    Is this like a thing?

  • #18
    asshat Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain probably preboards planes Blain's Avatar
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  • #19
    asshat wd40 Shaggy Silver Club wd40 Shaggy Silver Club wd40 Shaggy Silver Club wd40 Shaggy Silver Club wd40 Shaggy Silver Club wd40 Shaggy Silver Club wd40 Shaggy Silver Club wd40 Shaggy Silver Club wd40 Shaggy Silver Club wd40 Shaggy Silver Club wd40 Shaggy Silver Club
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    I've discovered that Pimms, gin, and apple cider are a pretty damn tasty combo.

    could get interesting tonight. on the upside, maybe the cat will quit sleeping amongst my legs.

  • #20
    Cornin' the duckhole markstanco Shaggy Platinum markstanco Shaggy Platinum markstanco Shaggy Platinum markstanco Shaggy Platinum markstanco Shaggy Platinum markstanco Shaggy Platinum markstanco Shaggy Platinum markstanco Shaggy Platinum markstanco Shaggy Platinum markstanco Shaggy Platinum markstanco Shaggy Platinum markstanco's Avatar
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    This thread is odd. Just like the last one.

  • #21
    asshat PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blain View Post
    You sharted while you came!?

  • #22
    asshat Captain Ron probably preboards planes Captain Ron probably preboards planes Captain Ron probably preboards planes Captain Ron probably preboards planes Captain Ron probably preboards planes Captain Ron probably preboards planes Captain Ron probably preboards planes Captain Ron probably preboards planes Captain Ron probably preboards planes Captain Ron probably preboards planes Captain Ron probably preboards planes Captain Ron's Avatar
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    Spoiler!

  • #23
    asshat Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom's Avatar
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    A photo of the driver's seat would have answered the question.

  • #24
    asshat retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bath Salt Dealer View Post
    This is the prelude for many shart thread entries the last couple of years. Overconfidence is a killer. Never let your guard down.
    Truth

  • #25
    bunghole BearCountry11 Shaggy Bronze Club BearCountry11 Shaggy Bronze Club BearCountry11 Shaggy Bronze Club BearCountry11 Shaggy Bronze Club BearCountry11 Shaggy Bronze Club BearCountry11 Shaggy Bronze Club BearCountry11 Shaggy Bronze Club BearCountry11 Shaggy Bronze Club BearCountry11 Shaggy Bronze Club BearCountry11 Shaggy Bronze Club BearCountry11 Shaggy Bronze Club BearCountry11's Avatar
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    Officially checking in...took 6 days. I've had a cold the past couple of days and today it just took a big sneeze to bust into 2017.

  • #26
    asshat Continental Op Shaggy Gold Club Continental Op Shaggy Gold Club Continental Op Shaggy Gold Club Continental Op Shaggy Gold Club Continental Op Shaggy Gold Club Continental Op Shaggy Gold Club Continental Op Shaggy Gold Club Continental Op Shaggy Gold Club Continental Op Shaggy Gold Club Continental Op Shaggy Gold Club Continental Op Shaggy Gold Club
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    Nearly had a good reason to post in this thread but managed to avert the crisis. Drawers are still fresh and clean but my toilet now looks like someone fired off a shotgun full of pudding into it.

  • #27
    asshat Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament Shaggy Gold Club Parliament's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Continental Op View Post
    Nearly had a good reason to post in this thread but managed to avert the crisis. Drawers are still fresh and clean but my toilet now looks like someone fired off a shotgun full of pudding into it.
    Rules

  • #28
    Some mf'er at work has been blasting the back rim of the toilet every day since the new year. I get in and take a dump by 7:30 am. God as my witness, I will find this early riser and reclaim my poll position in the handicap stall.

  • #29
    asshat judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illiterate View Post
    Some mf'er at work has been blasting the back rim of the toilet every day since the new year. I get in and take a dump by 7:30 am. God as my witness, I will find this early riser and reclaim my poll position in the handicap stall.
    How the $#@! does someone DO that? I've had thousands of explosive $#@!s and I've never managed to hit the back rim. Jeez. Someone at my office does that too.

  • #30
    asshat ghow Shaggy Bronze Club ghow Shaggy Bronze Club ghow Shaggy Bronze Club ghow Shaggy Bronze Club ghow Shaggy Bronze Club ghow Shaggy Bronze Club ghow Shaggy Bronze Club ghow Shaggy Bronze Club ghow Shaggy Bronze Club ghow Shaggy Bronze Club ghow Shaggy Bronze Club ghow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FCHorn View Post
    Is this like a thing?
    I get the feeling some sheep here are going to $#@! their pants just to post here because they think all the cool kids are doing it. Sort of like when Adam Sandler pissed him self in Billy Madison.

  • #31
    I don't know. I'm pretty upset considering i got to christen the bowl each morning. I was hoping a resident sharter might know the ballistics, but more importantly help me profile this animal.

  • #32
    Quote Originally Posted by ghow View Post
    I get the feeling some sheep here are going to $#@! their pants just to post here because they think all the cool kids are doing it. Sort of like when Adam Sandler pissed him self in Billy Madison.
    excuse you, prick, this is not the "I $#@! my pants thread." it's the shart thread. two entirely different functions.

  • #33

  • #34
    asshat Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom Shaggy Gold Club Prepuce of Doom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prepuce of Doom View Post
    A photo of the driver's seat would have answered the question 11 posts ago.
    Updated.

  • #35
    Quote Originally Posted by Captain Ron View Post


    Spoiler!
    Awe $#@!, I didn't know this had already been posted. I just sharted on the thread.

  • #36
    asshat Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FCHorn View Post
    Is this like a thing?
    I must have missed an old ass joke or does everybody just leak from their ass

  • #37
    Quote Originally Posted by Fillmore Slim View Post
    I must have missed an old ass joke or does everybody just leak from their ass
    Gonna need a ruling if anal leakage qualifies as a shart. I think not. Shart should be sudden an unexpected. If you're leaking and you fart you know damn well what's gonna happen.



  • #38
    asshat B1G might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? B1G might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? B1G might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? B1G might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? B1G might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? B1G might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? B1G might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? B1G might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? B1G might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? B1G might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? B1G might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? B1G's Avatar
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    I am old and my dreams are dry and my farts are wet, are my farts sharts?

  • #39
    asshat retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pistol Pete's Mustache View Post
    Gonna need a ruling if anal leakage qualifies as a shart. I think not. Shart should be sudden an unexpected. If you're leaking and you fart you know damn well what's gonna happen.


    If I have to do a courtesy wipe in the middle of the day to remove any stragglers, I don't think it counts. Once it hits the boxers tho, it's a shart.

  • #40
    asshat Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pistol Pete's Mustache View Post
    Gonna need a ruling if anal leakage qualifies as a shart. I think not. Shart should be sudden an unexpected. If you're leaking and you fart you know damn well what's gonna happen.


    Makes sense. I stand corrected.

  • #41
    asshat PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang probably preboards planes PvilleStang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by retread View Post
    If I have to do a courtesy wipe in the middle of the day to remove any stragglers, I don't think it counts. Once it hits the boxers tho, it's a shart.
    But IMO, the shart requires the action of a fart to thrust the material to said boxers. Else you've got a skidmark, or you $#@! yourself.

  • #42
    asshat retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread Shaggy Gold Club retread's Avatar
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    Definitely

  • #43
    asshat paco Shaggy Silver Club paco Shaggy Silver Club paco Shaggy Silver Club paco Shaggy Silver Club paco Shaggy Silver Club paco Shaggy Silver Club paco Shaggy Silver Club paco Shaggy Silver Club paco Shaggy Silver Club paco Shaggy Silver Club paco Shaggy Silver Club paco's Avatar
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    Checking in. A little awkward since I was in the kitchen with a couple friends and I told my daughter to pull my finger. Shart.

    Oh, and is it physically possible to keep a poker face when you shart? I don't think so.

  • #44
    Thread Tools> Subscribe to this thread. Here's to hoping this is my only post in here.

  • #45
    Quote Originally Posted by Illiterate View Post
    I don't know. I'm pretty upset considering i got to christen the bowl each morning. I was hoping a resident sharter might know the ballistics, but more importantly help me profile this animal.
    Look for the man with the stinky britches. /Cotton Hill


    But seriously, someone started a diet for New Years. Look for the guy eating kale.

  • #46
    Quote Originally Posted by Illiterate View Post
    Some mf'er at work has been blasting the back rim of the toilet every day since the new year. I get in and take a dump by 7:30 am. God as my witness, I will find this early riser and reclaim my poll position in the handicap stall.
    Post this in the stall. Unless it's you. I bet it's you and this is an attempt to deflect blame.


  • #47
    I don't post often, but when I do it is because I need to change my boxers. Damnit.

  • #48
    Haven't had a clear and cut shart, but cutting it close by definition. I've had marker butt for two days now. No matter what I do I have to go wipe my ass every hour. Guess I pinched one off too soon
    Last edited by Fudbelty; 01-10-2017 at 07:01 PM.

  • #49
    asshat Bogeywon has a gigantic e-peen. Bogeywon has a gigantic e-peen. Bogeywon has a gigantic e-peen. Bogeywon has a gigantic e-peen. Bogeywon has a gigantic e-peen. Bogeywon has a gigantic e-peen. Bogeywon has a gigantic e-peen. Bogeywon has a gigantic e-peen. Bogeywon has a gigantic e-peen. Bogeywon has a gigantic e-peen. Bogeywon has a gigantic e-peen. Bogeywon's Avatar
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    I had a close call today but all clean!

  • #50
    asshat Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim Shaggy Silver Club Fillmore Slim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pistol Pete's Mustache View Post
    Post this in the stall. Unless it's you. I bet it's you and this is an attempt to deflect blame.

    I have this in a nice frame in my home bathroom. Guests LOVE it.

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