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Thread: Wives and the Stupid $#@! They Say/Do

  1. #201
    fucktard longhornedbeavo is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares?
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    I've got one that I'm hoping others deal with too, if only to make me feel better.

    Something is amiss in the misses' life, so she complains about it. No biggie - it's in the job description to listen. But then the complaining continues, over several days, about the exact same thing. Finally, I decide that I've heard enough and should give some reasonable advice for how to solve/avoid the problem in the future.

    Wrong decision.

    Death glare/accusations of not really caring/etc. The last time I made this slip was a few years ago...but I still can't see the logical path that lead to such anger.

  • #202
    asshat SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton's Avatar
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    That's standard. Men want to solve problems. Women just want to be heard.

    And then flounder around in the same mess while never solving anything.

  • #203
    Quote Originally Posted by longhornedbeavo View Post
    I've got one that I'm hoping others deal with too, if only to make me feel better.

    Something is amiss in the misses' life, so she complains about it. No biggie - it's in the job description to listen. But then the complaining continues, over several days, about the exact same thing. Finally, I decide that I've heard enough and should give some reasonable advice for how to solve/avoid the problem in the future.

    Wrong decision.

    Death glare/accusations of not really caring/etc. The last time I made this slip was a few years ago...but I still can't see the logical path that lead to such anger.
    Daily. My problem right now is have alot of cool stuff going on (work related) and she doesn't like her job much, so she gets mad/jealous when I go out to dinner with clients/stay late and have drinks with coworkers. She doesn't understand that ultimately it's still work. It's fun work, but still work

  • #204
    asshat hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? hopkinsnhorns's Avatar
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    ^^^
    trying to figure out why you misspelled bevo in longhornedbeavo... longhornedbevo was not taken

  • #205
    I think I hate all of your wives. Don't y'all know you don't have to marry the first one that comes along? There are smart women who aren't total dumbasses out there... (at least five or six, I think).

  • #206
    one time dealer CBT Shaggy Silver Club CBT Shaggy Silver Club CBT Shaggy Silver Club CBT Shaggy Silver Club CBT Shaggy Silver Club CBT Shaggy Silver Club CBT Shaggy Silver Club CBT Shaggy Silver Club CBT Shaggy Silver Club CBT Shaggy Silver Club CBT Shaggy Silver Club CBT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pescado_rojo View Post
    “Oh, well you didn’t tell me I had to light the match!!”
    epic facepalm. excellent story sir.

    Quote Originally Posted by Brisketexan View Post
    [me as a chick, tapping my foot] Well . . . you DIDN'T! [/me as a chick, tapping my foot]
    literally laughed out when reading that, thank you

  • #207
    My wife has the entire $#@!ing walin closet in the master bedroom to herself except one little shelf and about 2 ft of space on the lower bar on the right side for my hang up clothes. She literally has the rest of a 9x5 closet to herself.

    I go to my little shelf to get my socks and underwear where I like to store them and find her $#@! mixed in on my shelf. All the time. She has 5 shelves and a shot ton of space but still uses my one little shelf for her crap.

    I say I'll just move all my stuff to the closet in one if the guest rooms that I use for an office so she can have the whole closet since she refuses to leavemy shelf for me. She gets pissy saying that it would be like we're breaking apart because we'll have separate closets. I say leave my shelf alone so I don't have to sort through a shelf full of panties and bras just to find my boxers and socks. She still doesn't. I move my stuff. She gets pissed and moves it back when I'm at work and bitches all $#@!ing night about it. I immediately face palm.

  • #208
    asshat SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton Shaggy Bronze Club SydneyCarton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by In10se D View Post
    My wife has the entire $#@!ing walin closet in the master bedroom to herself except one little shelf and about 2 ft of space on the lower bar on the right side for my hang up clothes. She literally has the rest of a 9x5 closet to herself.

    I go to my little shelf to get my socks and underwear where I like to store them and find her $#@! mixed in on my shelf. All the time. She has 5 shelves and a shot ton of space but still uses my one little shelf for her crap.

    I say I'll just move all my stuff to the closet in one if the guest rooms that I use for an office so she can have the whole closet since she refuses to leavemy shelf for me. She gets pissy saying that it would be like we're breaking apart because we'll have separate closets. I say leave my shelf alone so I don't have to sort through a shelf full of panties and bras just to find my boxers and socks. She still doesn't. I move my stuff. She gets pissed and moves it back when I'm at work and bitches all $#@!ing night about it. I immediately face palm.
    Tell her she can either have separate closets but one functioning relationship, or you can share a closer right up until the divorce.

  • #209
    asshat judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by In10se D View Post
    My wife has the entire $#@!ing walin closet in the master bedroom to herself except one little shelf and about 2 ft of space on the lower bar on the right side for my hang up clothes. She literally has the rest of a 9x5 closet to herself.

    I go to my little shelf to get my socks and underwear where I like to store them and find her $#@! mixed in on my shelf. All the time. She has 5 shelves and a shot ton of space but still uses my one little shelf for her crap.

    I say I'll just move all my stuff to the closet in one if the guest rooms that I use for an office so she can have the whole closet since she refuses to leavemy shelf for me. She gets pissy saying that it would be like we're breaking apart because we'll have separate closets. I say leave my shelf alone so I don't have to sort through a shelf full of panties and bras just to find my boxers and socks. She still doesn't. I move my stuff. She gets pissed and moves it back when I'm at work and bitches all $#@!ing night about it. I immediately face palm.
    I'm pretty sure I'd throw her $#@! on the floor. I have the same problem. Our closet is split about 3/5 to 2/5 in her favor. Problem is, I work every day. She's a stay-at-home mom and hates leaving the house. I don't think she's worn half the $#@! in the closet in 5 years.

  • #210
    My wife is pretty smart ... She doesn't say or do too many stupid things. What she does do in All-pro fashion is over-react early, often and loudly.

    I'd go for a ditz for the next several years.

  • #211
    asshat baboso might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? baboso might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? baboso might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? baboso might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? baboso might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? baboso might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? baboso might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? baboso might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? baboso might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? baboso might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? baboso might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? baboso's Avatar
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    Dear hullabelew,

    shaggy awaits your recap of this evening's festivities.

    Sincerely,
    shaggybevo, represented by baboso who has already heard the story

  • #212
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    Quote Originally Posted by baboso View Post
    Dear hullabelew,

    shaggy awaits your recap of this evening's festivities.

    Sincerely,
    shaggybevo, represented by baboso who has already heard the story

  • #213
    Quote Originally Posted by tx 3 putt View Post
    shouldn't you just assume anytime a woman opens her mouth it's going to be something stupid and/or useless dribble ?
    Drivel?

  • #214
    asshat elguapo Shaggy Bronze Club elguapo Shaggy Bronze Club elguapo Shaggy Bronze Club elguapo Shaggy Bronze Club elguapo Shaggy Bronze Club elguapo Shaggy Bronze Club elguapo Shaggy Bronze Club elguapo Shaggy Bronze Club elguapo Shaggy Bronze Club elguapo Shaggy Bronze Club elguapo Shaggy Bronze Club elguapo's Avatar
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    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by longhornedbeavo View Post
    I've got one that I'm hoping others deal with too, if only to make me feel better.

    Something is amiss in the misses' life, so she complains about it. No biggie - it's in the job description to listen. But then the complaining continues, over several days, about the exact same thing. Finally, I decide that I've heard enough and should give some reasonable advice for how to solve/avoid the problem in the future.

    Wrong decision.

    Death glare/accusations of not really caring/etc. The last time I made this slip was a few years ago...but I still can't see the logical path that lead to such anger.
    This happens to me at least once a week. If anyone has figured out an effective way to deal with this situation I'd love to read it.

  • #215
    asshat judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag's Avatar
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    We should also have a thread on the annoying things wives do. Like leaving a full glass of whatever they're drinking on the edge of the counter, right where the dish towel is hanging. Or constantly missing the toilet with her maxipad wrappers. Leaving the goddamned flipflops right in the middle of the walkway to the bathroom. I could go on and on. It's therapeutic.

  • #216
    dipshit SouthernBell names their bicycles. All three of them. SouthernBell names their bicycles. All three of them. SouthernBell names their bicycles. All three of them. SouthernBell names their bicycles. All three of them. SouthernBell names their bicycles. All three of them. SouthernBell names their bicycles. All three of them. SouthernBell names their bicycles. All three of them. SouthernBell names their bicycles. All three of them. SouthernBell names their bicycles. All three of them. SouthernBell names their bicycles. All three of them. SouthernBell names their bicycles. All three of them. SouthernBell's Avatar
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    Wow!

  • #217
    asshat judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SouthernBell View Post
    Wow!
    Welcome to misogyny, you dirty whore.

  • #218
    asshat Genco grows his own roses Genco grows his own roses Genco grows his own roses Genco grows his own roses Genco grows his own roses Genco grows his own roses Genco grows his own roses Genco grows his own roses Genco grows his own roses Genco grows his own roses Genco grows his own roses
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    Quote Originally Posted by judge roybeanbag View Post
    We should also have a thread on the annoying things wives do. Like leaving a full glass of whatever they're drinking on the edge of the counter, right where the dish towel is hanging. Or constantly missing the toilet with her maxipad wrappers. Leaving the goddamned flipflops right in the middle of the walkway to the bathroom. I could go on and on. It's therapeutic.
    My wife doesn't screw the caps onto containers, she simply places the cap otop the bottle of olive oil, bottled water, etc.

  • #219
    asshat judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Genco View Post
    My wife doesn't screw the caps onto containers, she simply places the cap otop the bottle of olive oil, bottled water, etc.
    I don't have that problem - my wife is great at screwing on everything except me.

  • #220
    Quote Originally Posted by Genco View Post
    My wife doesn't screw the caps onto containers, she simply places the cap otop the bottle of olive oil, bottled water, etc.
    At least she doesn't put the olive oil in the fridge and let it solidify every time. That is the hell I live in.

  • #221
    Quote Originally Posted by In10se D View Post
    My wife has the entire $#@!ing walin closet in the master bedroom to herself except one little shelf and about 2 ft of space on the lower bar on the right side for my hang up clothes. She literally has the rest of a 9x5 closet to herself.

    I go to my little shelf to get my socks and underwear where I like to store them and find her $#@! mixed in on my shelf. All the time. She has 5 shelves and a shot ton of space but still uses my one little shelf for her crap.

    I say I'll just move all my stuff to the closet in one if the guest rooms that I use for an office so she can have the whole closet since she refuses to leavemy shelf for me. She gets pissy saying that it would be like we're breaking apart because we'll have separate closets. I say leave my shelf alone so I don't have to sort through a shelf full of panties and bras just to find my boxers and socks. She still doesn't. I move my stuff. She gets pissed and moves it back when I'm at work and bitches all $#@!ing night about it. I immediately face palm.
    Same boat here. Then there's all these open food containers all over the damn house and the mystery of where the roaches are coming from.

  • #222
    Shaggy Goon MissingInAction probably preboards planes MissingInAction probably preboards planes MissingInAction probably preboards planes MissingInAction probably preboards planes MissingInAction probably preboards planes MissingInAction probably preboards planes MissingInAction probably preboards planes MissingInAction probably preboards planes MissingInAction probably preboards planes MissingInAction probably preboards planes MissingInAction probably preboards planes MissingInAction's Avatar
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    Just spent the past few days with a potential candidate. After reading this I am running, running far far away.

  • #223
    asshat RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Genco View Post
    My wife doesn't screw the caps onto containers, she simply places the cap otop the bottle of olive oil, bottled water, etc.
    Holy cr*p... mine, too.

    It's really annoying when it's the bottle of Ibuprofen, and you accidentally knock it over thinking "Oh, the lid's on there and it won't break...", then you realize who last used the bottle and...

    Last edited by RamjetFDO; 08-12-2010 at 06:06 AM.

  • #224
    asshat William Cannon can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. William Cannon can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. William Cannon can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. William Cannon can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. William Cannon can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. William Cannon can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. William Cannon can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. William Cannon can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. William Cannon can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. William Cannon can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. William Cannon can play the whole course with a 4 iron. At night. William Cannon's Avatar
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    Wife:
    9:45P: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    10:03P: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    10:17P: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    10:22P: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    10:34P: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    10:55P: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    11:12P: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

    Me:
    11:15P: Yeah, I’m going to have to stop you right there. Like we discussed when I came home, I have to be in the office before my 7.30a call.


    Her:
    11:16P: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah




    What is it with wives wanting to stay up late talking (especially the night before you have to get up extra early)?

  • #225
    You would swear our apartment was getting invaded by the aliens from signs. It is littered with half drank glasses of water. On the postive sign she is trying to protect me from the aliens.

  • #226
    Faux Aggy hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew Shaggy Gold Club hullabelew's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by baboso View Post
    Dear hullabelew,
    shaggy awaits your recap of this evening's festivities.
    Sincerely,
    shaggybevo, represented by baboso who has already heard the story
    Man, I typed up a recap, but it was WAY too long. Let me try to pare it down.

  • #227
    asshat WhoooTex Definitely Shaggy upper class WhoooTex Definitely Shaggy upper class WhoooTex Definitely Shaggy upper class WhoooTex Definitely Shaggy upper class WhoooTex Definitely Shaggy upper class WhoooTex Definitely Shaggy upper class WhoooTex Definitely Shaggy upper class WhoooTex Definitely Shaggy upper class WhoooTex Definitely Shaggy upper class WhoooTex Definitely Shaggy upper class WhoooTex Definitely Shaggy upper class WhoooTex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Genco View Post
    My wife doesn't screw the caps onto containers, she simply places the cap otop the bottle of olive oil, bottled water, etc.
    this was how my wife taught me not to pick things up by the cap. Now, WHY she had to teach me that, I'm a little unclear, but I don't do it anymore, that's for sure

  • #228
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasRed View Post
    My wife is pretty smart ... She doesn't say or do too many stupid things. What she does do in All-pro fashion is over-react early, often and loudly.

    I'd go for a ditz for the next several years.
    The over-reaction stuff drives me up a $#@!ing wall.

  • #229
    fucktard longhornedbeavo is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares?
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    Very glad to hear it's not just mine.

    Quote Originally Posted by hopkinsnhorns View Post
    ^^^
    trying to figure out why you misspelled bevo in longhornedbeavo... longhornedbevo was not taken
    Attempt to be clever, beaver+bevo=beavo (went to UT and Oregon State)...maybe beavor would have worked better?
    Last edited by longhornedbeavo; 08-12-2010 at 11:32 AM.

  • #230
    asshat texasdago Shaggy Gold Club texasdago Shaggy Gold Club texasdago Shaggy Gold Club texasdago Shaggy Gold Club texasdago Shaggy Gold Club texasdago Shaggy Gold Club texasdago Shaggy Gold Club texasdago Shaggy Gold Club texasdago Shaggy Gold Club texasdago Shaggy Gold Club texasdago Shaggy Gold Club texasdago's Avatar
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    What is it with wives wanting to stay up late talking (especially the night before you have to get up extra early)?
    Not just that... they want to talk in bed when you want to get it on...

  • #231
    asshat Durant Durant might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Durant Durant might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Durant Durant might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Durant Durant might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Durant Durant might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Durant Durant might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Durant Durant might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Durant Durant might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Durant Durant might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Durant Durant might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Durant Durant might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? Durant Durant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jameslaw View Post
    Daily. My problem right now is have alot of cool stuff going on (work related) and she doesn't like her job much, so she gets mad/jealous when I go out to dinner with clients/stay late and have drinks with coworkers. She doesn't understand that ultimately it's still work. It's fun work, but still work
    This is the story of my life right now.

  • #232
    asshat TXSooner518 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TXSooner518 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TXSooner518 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TXSooner518 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TXSooner518 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TXSooner518 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TXSooner518 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TXSooner518 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TXSooner518 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TXSooner518 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge? TXSooner518 might be a clever chap. or know the right people. know what i mean, nudge nudge?
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    My dad's wife, upon hearing that a then-14 year old Michelle Wie was hitting 280 yard drives: "yeah, but that's from the women's tee, right?"

  • #233
    dipshit NiceBevo22 is probably perfectly normal.  Probably. Maybe. Who cares? NiceBevo22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Methuselah View Post
    At least she doesn't put the olive oil in the fridge and let it solidify every time. That is the hell I live in.
    How can you not learn your lesson, this thread is the funniest most frustrating thread ever.

  • #234
    asshat Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla's Avatar
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    <while eating wings at Pluckers>

    Her: Are the wings at Hooters bigger than the wings here because they are made from buffalo and these are made from chicken??

    Me:




    <After watching the movie Hellboy>

    Her: Wow, Ted Danson was really good in that movie [as Hellboy]

    Me:

  • #235
    asshat Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6's Avatar
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    My wife is pretty damned smart, but she does some weird stuff. The one that happens most often is that she'll continue a conversation with me that ended days ago with no warning that we're picking up an old conversation. For instance, we watched the show FlashForward when it was on. At one point in the show we learn that one of the main characters is a double-agent. She is shocked by this even though she understands it's just entertainment, but it did really throw her for a loop. So we talked about it a bit after the show. Three days later, in the car, she says "Man, I can't believe she would do that!" I say "Who? Did what?" She says "Janice! (as if I'm supposed to know this person)". Me: "?" Her: "Janice!" Usually about this time I actually realize what's going on and then make fun of her.

    She also loves to leave her shoes right in the middle of any pathway around the house. It's as if she walked into the house and then instantly transported somewhere else leaving only her shoes in the exact position they were in. She's generally neat, so I can't figure that one out.

  • #236
    asshat RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xminus6 View Post
    She also loves to leave her shoes right in the middle of any pathway around the house. It's as if she walked into the house and then instantly transported somewhere else leaving only her shoes in the exact position they were in. She's generally neat, so I can't figure that one out.
    My wife does that... except in the bedroom *DIRECTLY IN THE PATH* of me-to-the-bathroom, so in the dark of night... guess what I'm always stepping on?

  • #237
    bunghole Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails's Avatar
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    While driving home one day, a truck and trailer was parked in front of a house in our neighborhood. The enclosed trailer had "Alaska to Austin" written on the side.

    Me: Man, that's a helluva drive.
    Wife: Yeah. I guess they took a ferry or something.
    Me: Ferry?
    Wife: Well, Alaska being an island an all, I figured they must have taken a ferry or boat to get their truck and trailer here.
    Me: Alaska? Alaska has islands, but the state itself isn't an island. Are you thinking of Hawaii?
    Wife: No, no, no. Alaska is an island. Everytime I see it on a map it's off to the bottom left of us in the ocean. It's an island.
    Me: <crickets>

  • #238
    Quote Originally Posted by RamjetFDO View Post
    My wife does that... except in the bedroom *DIRECTLY IN THE PATH* of me-to-the-bathroom, so in the dark of night... guess what I'm always stepping on?
    Yeah, this one is ingrained in the DNA I think. I once went 7 days without picking up her shoes. Guess how many pair were around the house at the end of 7 days? That's right, 9. I figure she must have changed her mind on a pair or two in there somewhere.

  • #239
    asshat Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla Shaggy Silver Club Angry Gorilla's Avatar
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  • #240
    bunghole Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails's Avatar
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    One more...

    After getting married and moving into our first house, we discussed home defense, and I gave her a brief rundown of where my shotgun and shells were kept.

    Me: You cool with handling a shotgun, right?
    Wife: Oh, yeah. I've shot guns a TON at my grandfather's ranch growing up.
    Me: Why don't you show me. Here's my .270. Let me see how you would do it.
    Wife: Well, just like this. <puts gun UNDER armpit, stock sticking six inches out in the back, eyes an inch or so from the scope>
    Me: You're kidding, right?
    Wife: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot. <throws gun OVER the shoulder, like a bazooka>
    Wife: Like this, right?
    Me: ffffuuuuuuucccckkkk. Here, keep this skillet under your side of the bed instead. Forget what I said about the shotgun.

  • #241
    Quote Originally Posted by MitchCumsteen View Post
    While driving home one day, a truck and trailer was parked in front of a house in our neighborhood. The enclosed trailer had "Alaska to Austin" written on the side.

    Me: Man, that's a helluva drive.
    Wife: Yeah. I guess they took a ferry or something.
    Me: Ferry?
    Wife: Well, Alaska being an island an all, I figured they must have taken a ferry or boat to get their truck and trailer here.
    Me: Alaska? Alaska has islands, but the state itself isn't an island. Are you thinking of Hawaii?
    Wife: No, no, no. Alaska is an island. Everytime I see it on a map it's off to the bottom left of us in the ocean. It's an island.
    Me: <crickets>


    holy $#@!.

  • #242
    Quote Originally Posted by lowery21 View Post
    Yeah, this one is ingrained in the DNA I think. I once went 7 days without picking up her shoes. Guess how many pair were around the house at the end of 7 days? That's right, 9. I figure she must have changed her mind on a pair or two in there somewhere.
    On a side note. Why is it that my girlfriend can leave 50 different make-up products, earring, towels, hairspray, ect all over the bathroom, but if I leave one wet towel on the floor she acts like demons have come through the bathroom drain to devour her soul?

  • #243
    asshat fawnknutsen has a gigantic e-peen. fawnknutsen has a gigantic e-peen. fawnknutsen has a gigantic e-peen. fawnknutsen has a gigantic e-peen. fawnknutsen has a gigantic e-peen. fawnknutsen has a gigantic e-peen. fawnknutsen has a gigantic e-peen. fawnknutsen has a gigantic e-peen. fawnknutsen has a gigantic e-peen. fawnknutsen has a gigantic e-peen. fawnknutsen has a gigantic e-peen. fawnknutsen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MitchCumsteen View Post
    While driving home one day, a truck and trailer was parked in front of a house in our neighborhood. The enclosed trailer had "Alaska to Austin" written on the side.

    Me: Man, that's a helluva drive.
    Wife: Yeah. I guess they took a ferry or something.
    Me: Ferry?
    Wife: Well, Alaska being an island an all, I figured they must have taken a ferry or boat to get their truck and trailer here.
    Me: Alaska? Alaska has islands, but the state itself isn't an island. Are you thinking of Hawaii?
    Wife: No, no, no. Alaska is an island. Everytime I see it on a map it's off to the bottom left of us in the ocean. It's an island.
    Me: <crickets>
    C'mon. You just made that one up.

  • #244
    asshat RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO Definitely Shaggy upper class RamjetFDO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MitchCumsteen View Post
    While driving home one day, a truck and trailer was parked in front of a house in our neighborhood. The enclosed trailer had "Alaska to Austin" written on the side.

    Me: Man, that's a helluva drive.
    Wife: Yeah. I guess they took a ferry or something.
    Me: Ferry?
    Wife: Well, Alaska being an island an all, I figured they must have taken a ferry or boat to get their truck and trailer here.
    Me: Alaska? Alaska has islands, but the state itself isn't an island. Are you thinking of Hawaii?
    Wife: No, no, no. Alaska is an island. Everytime I see it on a map it's off to the bottom left of us in the ocean. It's an island.
    Me: <crickets>
    Did she follow up with "such as... the Iraq"?

  • #245
    bunghole Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails's Avatar
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    C'mon. You just made that one up.
    I wish I had. My wife is very intelligent. She graduated in the top 10% of her class in high school and has a degree from UT (obviously not in Geography). However, she has pulled off some absolutely incredible statements that have boggled my mind in the seven years that we have been married. For instance:

    After a friend of ours finished his first marathon:

    Friend: The last few miles kicked my ass. I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't even close. I was on a good pace, but I just ran out of energy. Those carb shots helped a bunch, though.
    My Wife: Oh my god! They gave you a shot while you were running? Did it hurt?
    Friend: The running part? Or the shot?
    My wife: Did they have a nurse or something to give you the shot? Or, did you bring it with you and do it yourself?
    Friend: No, Mrs. $#@!steen, it was a shot of carbohydrate fluids. Like a shot of tequila. Not a syringe.
    Me: <head shaking>

  • #246
    asshat Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6 grows his own roses Xminus6's Avatar
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    Oh, here's the other thing my wife does chronically:

    If I'm in my office, I usually have a floor fan on because I like to have a fan on me most of the time. She knows this and I tell her this all the time. Still, she will ask me something from another room at precisely the volume that I can hear that she's talking but not understand one word of what she's said. I'll say "I can't hear you." and she'll repeat what she said at the exact same volume. So I'll get up, go to the door and so on. Without fail, about 30 seconds after I sit down again, she'll say something else that I can't hear. Rinse. Repeat. The magical thing is, even if I turned the fan off she somehow automatically lowers her voice to the same point where I can't understand what she's saying.

  • #247
    asshat judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag Shaggy Platinum judge roybeanbag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xminus6 View Post
    Oh, here's the other thing my wife does chronically:

    If I'm in my office, I usually have a floor fan on because I like to have a fan on me most of the time. She knows this and I tell her this all the time. Still, she will ask me something from another room at precisely the volume that I can hear that she's talking but not understand one word of what she's said. I'll say "I can't hear you." and she'll repeat what she said at the exact same volume. So I'll get up, go to the door and so on. Without fail, about 30 seconds after I sit down again, she'll say something else that I can't hear. Rinse. Repeat. The magical thing is, even if I turned the fan off she somehow automatically lowers her voice to the same point where I can't understand what she's saying.
    God I hate that. My wife is a mumbler. Constantly tries to talk to me from the other room. One blessing of having kids is I can sit there and ignore her until she comes in there and then I say "oh, I thought you were talking to one of the kids".

  • #248
    bunghole Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails Shaggy Bronze Club Spaulding Smails's Avatar
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    Do women in general mumble more than men? I can't for the life of me understand why they can't raise their voice even a few decibles to a more audible level.

  • #249
    asshat MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10 Probably Shaggy upper class MNLonghorn10's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MitchCumsteen View Post
    While driving home one day, a truck and trailer was parked in front of a house in our neighborhood. The enclosed trailer had "Alaska to Austin" written on the side.

    Me: Man, that's a helluva drive.
    Wife: Yeah. I guess they took a ferry or something.
    Me: Ferry?
    Wife: Well, Alaska being an island an all, I figured they must have taken a ferry or boat to get their truck and trailer here.
    Me: Alaska? Alaska has islands, but the state itself isn't an island. Are you thinking of Hawaii?
    Wife: No, no, no. Alaska is an island. Everytime I see it on a map it's off to the bottom left of us in the ocean. It's an island.
    Me: <crickets>
    edit nvm wrong mitch still though haha
    Last edited by MNLonghorn10; 08-12-2010 at 05:00 PM.

  • #250
    asshat creasy Shaggy Bronze Club creasy Shaggy Bronze Club creasy Shaggy Bronze Club creasy Shaggy Bronze Club creasy Shaggy Bronze Club creasy Shaggy Bronze Club creasy Shaggy Bronze Club creasy Shaggy Bronze Club creasy Shaggy Bronze Club creasy Shaggy Bronze Club creasy Shaggy Bronze Club creasy's Avatar
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    Conversation from last night, while watching Hard Knocks:

    Me: How do teams get selected for this show? Why are they featuring the Jets this time?
    Traffic: Well, they had a good season... you know, I'm not the show producer....
    Me: Oh yeah, I forgot... the correct question is, "why do you think they selected the Jets?"
    Traffic: Yes!! We've talked about this before. For YEARS... why can't you learn how to ask the right question?
    Me: Well, you know what I mean.
    Traffic: [exasperated]

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