OK. I've been putting this off for a while but the time has come for such a thread to be dedicated to the inane comments, actions and general bull$#@! committed by the female of the species. Girlfriend stories are welcome but more weight shall be given to offenses committed by wives as girlfriends are generally still fun.
I humbly submit the following:
This morning, my wife gets out of bed at 5am to let the dogs out. Her alarm goes off at 4:45 every morning. She yells from downstairs that I need to come look at something wrong with one of the dogs. I'm picturing that one of them got hung up in their crate or one had chewed the other one's foot off.
Her: "He has some bumps near his 'thing'. It just isn't right".
Me: after grabbing the dog. "Those are his tits".
Her: "No, their tits are on their chest, not down there".
Me: "Uh, no".
This might have been a mildly entertaining conversation at any other time of day than 5 in the morning.